Delano Hotel

This place is so much hype, so much about the art-deco architecture, the bar scene, the quirky furniture in the lobby. I should have come for a drink, looked around and left, instead of booking a three-night stay. The bar, lobby, and pool area are worth seeing (and if it's your thing, being seen, I suppose). In the inside bar, there is a DJ who plays pounding club-music. The drinks are about $30/ea with a tip, with surprisingly slow service. As we sat at the upper outdoor bar, scores of tourists walked, past, to the 'rope' looked out over the grounds, and walked back out. Not much of an atmosphere for the guests... The lodging is the bigger issue. We got a Superior-king, partial ocean view room. Emphasis on "partial"! I think it was 330 sq.ft, which is normally not too small, but the rooms are oddly shaped. This one was oblong, so it was long from front to back, but narrow from the head of the bed to dresser/tv, with a bunch of unusable space on either side of the bed. Instead of putting a couple of chairs and a small table in the dead space, they installed a Day-Bed--one of those odd 'lounge' type long-chairs that women were shown relaxing on in the old movies; uncomfortable and useless. The bathroom is the size of a small broom closet, measures about 5x7 -- 35 sq feet including shower, sink, toilet, towel rack! So tiny, you can barely turn around. No place to hang a wet towel, really. The bed was adequate, but the pillows were of the rubber variety, not feather, so you'll awake with neck ache. The music is SO loud from the bar below until about 3 am. Very difficult to sleep unless you remembered earplugs. Elevator service is slow; they have only two, should have three or more. The gym is adequate with a variety of equipment, though none of the video screens on the treadmills or bikes work, should you want to watch tv or something while you pedal... In general, I found the staff pleasant and helpful. And they do have a lot of housekeeping staff constantly wiping and cleaning the common areas. The beach is nice, but crowded, with a $27+ fee for a sun umbrella, and $27 for an extra beach chair. (In most better hotels, a pricey room charge with add-on 'resort fee' might cover such basic beach amenities; after all, what is the 'resort fee' for if not a beach umbrella?) With resort fees and taxes etc, it's $500+/night for what turned out to be an uncomfortable, odd, smallish room with few amenities and all-night pounding DJ music. One stay is plenty; would not return. Read less

This chic boutique hotel in Miami Beach will warm every part of your anatomy whether at poolside or by the beach. I went to relax but kept getting distracted by the models in thongs doing photo shoots, I'm not kidding, and the herd of Russian topless beauties sun bathing on the beach. Need I say anymore. Stay here if for no other reason but to fantasize and maybe you'll get lucky. Read less

It is currently 12:30 AM and the music downstairs is so loud that our room is literally shaking. We called the front desk and were informed that the “live music” would continue until 2 AM. Last night was just as bad. We came here for Art Basel, and while we understand that parties are the norm during the fair, the level of noise in the hotel rooms had been totally disruptive and is not acceptable to anyone expecting a hotel and not a nightclub. Furthermore, at the inflated rate of over $1,000 a night, the service had been abysmal. No doorman greeted us on arrival. No one showed us to our room or offered to take our luggage. Our room was not made up one day. Maids knocked despite having a “do not disturb sign” on the door. To top it off, the staff seemed completely disinterested. We will not stay here again and do not recommend this hotel. Read less